doggish: oh sanctuary (soft ⚔ there's nothing left inside)
Fenris ([personal profile] doggish) wrote in [personal profile] illithidnapped 2024-05-03 07:37 pm (UTC)

2/3

[But gods, what a story. What a long, roundabout story to illustrate his point:]

That only changed with you.

Even then . . . I feared losing you for so long. I feared my feelings would repulse you; that you would think of me as no different than those in your past. And I feared for myself. I feared you would leave; I feared that I was acting a fool and it would all end in heartbreak all over again.

Kirkwall and all my companions . . . I cut out any notion of companionship for nearly a decade because it hurt too much to let it in again. But I could not resist you, despite my heart screaming out warnings each time we met. Even now, with that idiot pack I run with, I fear losing them.

I stand it by remembering you. And, admittedly, by letting no one save you close to me. Whether that means I have recovered or not . . . mph. I don't know.

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