His first, and a woman he pens about having come to him after such a vast expanse of years (oh, Astarion, hypocrite and fool in blinded measure), and all that comes of it is a resigned kiss of never again?
What is it that has him by the throat? What is it here, in these frail seconds lodged beneath the punctuation of a hideous stained blot that makes written letters look more marring than the void he'd left behind? Scowling without meaning to, lip curled idly in disgust. A conquest, he'd said. His first, he'd said. And as useless as sex has only ever been aside from living through another night with the carrot rather than the stick, Astarion knows something of firsts, now. Of the irreversible anchorhold it has. (A flicker of something, erased. Pretty words spoken hundreds of years ago, scrubbed clean not by Cazador— not directly, no— but by Astarion's own hands. Pushed away.)
Drop it, reason warns, citing the obvious occurences of less than one full minute prior, where Fenris settled back to grant fair peace in waters Astarion couldn't navigate. Change the subject. Play it sweet.
no subject
His first, and a woman he pens about having come to him after such a vast expanse of years (oh, Astarion, hypocrite and fool in blinded measure), and all that comes of it is a resigned kiss of never again?
What is it that has him by the throat? What is it here, in these frail seconds lodged beneath the punctuation of a hideous stained blot that makes written letters look more marring than the void he'd left behind? Scowling without meaning to, lip curled idly in disgust. A conquest, he'd said. His first, he'd said. And as useless as sex has only ever been aside from living through another night with the carrot rather than the stick, Astarion knows something of firsts, now. Of the irreversible anchorhold it has. (A flicker of something, erased. Pretty words spoken hundreds of years ago, scrubbed clean not by Cazador— not directly, no— but by Astarion's own hands. Pushed away.)
Drop it, reason warns, citing the obvious occurences of less than one full minute prior, where Fenris settled back to grant fair peace in waters Astarion couldn't navigate. Change the subject. Play it sweet.
And yet he can't.]
Rotheshit it's as it should be.