illithidnapped

You have been one for some time, then.

[More a thoughtful murmur than anything, as he takes all of that in. Two hundred isn't all that much, to him, but it's a substantial enough amount to be worth something.]

And how exactly has living this unlife of yours differed from your more vital days?

I...

[He starts. Stops. His exhale is sharp and thin, drawn out as his mind works. And works.

And works.]

Before I was, shall we say, changed, I was nobility. Unsurprising I’m sure, given my own bearing and exemplary taste.

But when I was afforded the...opportunity to transform, I was already knocking on death’s door. It was vampirism or oblivion, and I thought—

[Well.]

I thought it was salvation.

[He snorts, there. Low and acidic.]

It wasn’t, of course. There’s no such thing.

...not in the ways we would like it to be, no.

[Just a brief, quiet agreement to that last statement. It's easy, after all, to reach for what one thinks to be salvation in a desperate time, and after that-- well.

It's too late.]

Continued existence is not, in itself, always a blessing. But what did it turn out to be, instead?

Better than the alternative. Always. [Astarion snaps back, vividly sharp.

Even now, death is—

His expression pinches, tightening with so much reflexive disdain that he clearly has to pull it back a few beats later in order to add:]

...albeit not by much.

[He sighs. Taps his fingers against his own chest, digging.] You see, if you fail to drink the blood of the vampire that sires you in turn, you never really become a vampire. Instead, you're doomed to exist as nothing more than a vampire spawn: a creature utterly beholden to the whims of its master. Eternally enslaved, for lack of a better term.

Better than the alternative.

[A quieter echo, lacking in the same vehemence. There are plenty of reasons, after all, that he never gave it up himself.

After that continuation, though, his gaze flicks back over to Astarion.]

...and I take it, then, that this sire of yours preferred it that way.

[He scoffs, his tone crawling back into bitterly conversational:]

Why would anyone want to give up that sort of power?

The ability to turn someone else into your own willing puppet? The promise that they'll serve you, rather than becoming competition? Because that's what it really means, to make another vampire: they don't just ascend into strength of their own— no, they become your equal.

Cazador never would've allowed that. Those privileges he kept only for himself, and his own family.

With, I assume, little to no chance of one's spawn being able to to turn against their master.

[Astarion doesn't strike him as the type who wouldn't take the chance to do so, after all, if it existed.

He spares a sidelong glance to the ceiling, waving a hand to set the stars in motion.]

Like I said, darling, puppet. Emphasis on the strings.

[This is a joke. He still sounds mired in vitriol regardless.]

All a vampire lord needs to do is speak, and its spawn obey. No amount of wanting or weeping changes that wicked little detail: the figurative spell doesn't break unless you're dead, they're dead— or you're fully transformed.

[His lips purse. His jaw grits.]

Anyway, the point is, I didn't have a life before coming here. Not one worth mentioning, at least. So if you'd like to pick a better subject to satisfy your curiosity, by all means, feel free.

I see.

[Exhaled on a low hum, after which he falls silent for several moments, just... watching the slow rotation of lights above them both; he settles in more comfortably, then, arms folded behind his head.]

...the gods of my home have a similar sort of ability, you know.

[He says this almost conversationally. Almost. There's just a touch more seriousness to it than there would be if it truly were, though.]

It happens regardless of whether they will it to, but the results aren't terribly different. Those who are exposed to their incarnations, whether they were originally followers or not-- they are converted in more than merely a spiritual sense. Tempered by that god's will, bent to their desires, belonging to them in both body and soul. The tempered will work for the good of their deity of their own will, doing absolutely anything for them, and the weaker-willed ones will lose themselves in this entirely.

So your gods are vampires. [Astarion teases, betraying the exactness of those shared circumstances. Confirmation through black, bleak humor.

And to that extent, he laughs despite it all.]

Who knew.

Something of the sort.

[Even in the way they're sustained, fueling themselves through offered lives, draining the essence given to them. A larger-scale sort of thing, but...

It might not be wrong to call them that, no. Not if one were to generalize.]

And equally difficult to break away from.

You know it almost sounds like you're speaking from personal experience.

[And by almost, given the way he says it, he means it sounds exactly like Emet-Selch is speaking from personal experience.

Astarion, after all, would know.]

'Tis hardly an unknown problem, in that world.

[Vague enough, with a shrug to match, but the fact that it isn't a direct denial likely says something.]

Here I am, baring my soul for a handful of stars and an evasive answer.

[His chin upturns despite the fact that he's laying down. He sounds— put out, for lack of a better term. Disappointed.

Or maybe disapproving.]

What a tepid end to an already dissatisfying evening.

Well, if you find them an unacceptable exchange, I suppose it would be easier not to maintain them...

[...but he doesn't move to dismiss the illusion. Not yet. He's still enjoying it, after all, and hardly sounds bothered.]

Here I simply thought you were capable of taking my meaning for what it was. But, if you insist on directness-- then yes. I am familiar.

And?

[He asks, rolling onto his side with the most direct look imaginable angled across that narrow little room.] What's next, am I going to have to start pulling teeth?

Familiar how, darling. You know my ruin— time to pay up in yours.

[It's both easier and harder, he thinks, when the situation is like this. No one is from his world, and so far removed, especially after his own death-- it both means there's less attachment to it for anyone else, and also that if he simply never said anything, no one would know. Just like it was back then. It would be so easy to just keep it all to himself and leave them all none the wiser.

No one would know, here, besides him-- and that's part of the problem, too. Back there, he knew someone would remember his people's history (and his own) after his death, but that is something he no longer has in Thedas.

...fitting enough, he supposes, to allow it of the person who initially kept him from dying completely unknown in this world. The trust isn't entirely there, not yet, but who else would he ever bother to tell? Someone who doesn't at least have a similar sort of understanding?

So, finally:]

It isn't an uncommon story, is it, to bring ruin upon oneself?

We created the first of those gods. The eldest and most powerful of them, summoned from willing sacrifice and desperation. From fervent prayer to a deity none of us had ever seen or known, that had never existed until we thought to make it so. He was to be our greatest work, meant to imbue the world itself with the will and power to save it-- and so he did. He did exactly what we had, in our time of greatest need, brought him forth to do.

[A moment's pause, there, as he exhales a sigh.]

...but, as you know, we later learned the full measure of what we had done. Our souls were claimed the moment we gave him life, and the souls of our brethren claimed in the sacrifices made to create him and sustain his power.

Desperation? Desperation over what.

[There's something there, like glass gleaming in a sea of sand. The smallest of hints to something larger which— Astarion knows by now, won’t come to the surface without him digging.

So dig he does.]

They way you talked, I imagine the worst you ever-dutiful little addicts had to face was what you would create for yourselves after lunch.

We created for the world as well, not merely for our own satisfaction-- we oversaw it, nurtured it.

[Loved it.

Astarion's question doesn't get a direct answer, not at first. He just makes a gesture toward the illusion above--

And the stars begin to streak across the sky, brightly flaming. A meteor shower, which the focus tilts to follow; they rain down upon the broad curve of a world, aglow with fire from the earth and sky both.]

...if we did not take drastic measures, we knew that nothing of that world would survive.

So you summoned a ‘god’.

[The story writes itself, given the sight looming overhead. The brighter burst of hateful red amongst a darker backdrop.]

And then what?

I take it given what you’ve told me so far, salvation wasn’t what any of you had hoped for, either.

[Not if— as Emet-Selch had said— their souls were claimed from the moment of its inception.]

[With another gesture, he dismisses the illusion for the moment. He no longer has the capacity he once did, and he would like not to find its limit the hard way.

Maybe he's just done seeing this, too.]

Once the apocalypse had been averted, the planet was no longer fit for life. Scorched and scarred and barren, unable to support anything that we might attempt to help find a foothold.

...and so a number of our people offered their lives once more, that he might have the power to restore life to the earth. It was our intent to nurture that new life, see that it grew in abundance, and once it had reached an excess-- we would be able to make of it a final offering, without taking too much in the process. With that, he would be able to restore our sacrificed brethren.

[Even at such an early stage, the answer they were pushed to was just-- more and more sacrifice. An early sign of what would come, of what any of his promises required of them.]

Not all of our number agreed.

Call me hopelessly cynical, but I get the feeling this isn’t going to go anywhere pleasant.

[Blood sacrifices laid out like gambling chips. The idea that it’ll pay off later.

Astarion’s too good at cards. Too used to comprehending risk. It's almost like a sixth sense, picturing when too much might in fact be too much to recuperate from.]

Who was he? Was it this...’god’ you created? Was that it?

I find that cynicism rarely serves one poorly.

[So-- yes.]

That was, though, yes. We knew what he was capable of, and that if we chose that path, it would not be in vain-- we would see our people restored. But the ensuing debate over our course left us all at our wits' end, and resulted in the dissenting faction creating a second god of their own, one created with the express purpose of defeating the first.

...I suppose our conflict had but one inevitable conclusion, from the start.

[Matching one powerful being with another, relying upon the same methods of creation that got them there in the first place.]

All right. [All right, he says, trying to wrestle with the sheer magnitude of what he’s being told.

If it was coming from someone else, he’d call bullshit. But he knows Emet-Selch too well. Likes him too much, admittedly.]

But which side were you on, then?

I mean, obviously the winning one, but are we talking about team one or team two here?

[Ah-- that gets an amused, if tired, huff of a breath. Obviously the winning one, he says, as if Emet-Selch weren't dead when he was dragged here. He doesn't correct him, then.]

I will give you this, then. One side won, obviously-- sundered the other god, shattering its form into pieces. Shattered the world itself in the process, resulting in fourteen separate, lesser worlds. But on the other side were three who survived this sundering, and somehow remained whole.

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walks back into this bar 500 years late

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