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[illithidnapped]

I, being somewhat recently removed from the glittering world of swanning nobility, desire money— but I’ll take anything sellable in a pinch.

[Classy, Astarion. Always.

Still, the sigh that chases his voracious commentary is, in a word, wistful.]

Ah, sweet lady Margaery, pretty as a rose and twice as dangerous to try and pluck. I’d suggest something delicate and dignified: jewelry will never do you wrong so long as it's not made of cheap metal or cut leather. Ugh. Perfume could be tricky, but floral offerings are near-foolproof— and while you could always lean into wine, that’s so despicably predictable you might as well have someone else deliver it, too. Just really drive home the idea you don’t give a damn about them.

As for our dear Madame, I’m betting distinguished gifts would land a little better. Fine brocade. Exotic fruit. Hm. A rare bird, even.

The first thing you should know about the aristocratic upper crust: we love animals that shit everywhere. Gives our myriad servants something to do.