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[bouchonne]

Dear Astarion. I can't believe you're such a fan of mine!

[illithidnapped]

[He laughs so abruptly (and so absurdly hard) that he almost spills what’s left of his wine, stiffling it against the back of his hand.

Yes, fine, he did need this. Dearly.]

Well I didn’t want to have to say it, but I suppose I’ve been found out now.

[Playful and dramatic as though it were a stage performance, he fits a hand to the center of his chest, sighing.]

You’ll never look at me the same way again. How utterly tragic.

[bouchonne]

It's all right.

[ By grins back at Astarion, nearly as tickled as he. ]

I love my fans. Nothing indicates better taste than adoring me.

[ but... ]

When did he play for you?

[illithidnapped]

Not long after I arrived, actually. He and the rapturous Lady Alexandrie opted to grant me a private performance in regards to the instruments of this world.

[And while he could continue digging his heels into the thorny concept of making mischief, he opts for the truth. Just briefly.]

I'd never heard some of them before, you see.

[bouchonne]

[ His pout is dramatic. ]

I can't believe they didn't invite me.

[illithidnapped]

[Oh dear.]

Maybe they were afraid you'd show them up. Wellspring of talent that you are.

[bouchonne]

[ Excuse. He points at Astarion. ]

Have you heard me play?

[illithidnapped]

[He laughs because of course he does. How could he not?] Gods no.

Well— not to my knowledge, anyway. Not unless you operate in disguise.

But I have to assume given your roguish good looks and...fairly satisfying aura, that you’ve got at least some sort of brilliance in there.

If not music....

Juggling, perhaps?

[bouchonne]

Juggling.

[ Said with utter distaste - even as he pulls out a few handkerchiefs from his desk and does a decent, if simple, scarf-juggling routine. Because of course this bitch knows how to do that. ]

I'm the finest fiddle player Riftwatch has, I'll have you know - [ As he tosses the handkerchiefs one-by-one - ] And if they didn't tell you that, I'll have words with them. Serious words.

[illithidnapped]

[Astarion looks absolutely rapt, eyes gleaming a brighter shade of red in low light. He's as easily amused as a toddler sometimes.

Never tell him that.]

No, they certainly didn't. [Does Astarion want desperately for pettiness to ensue? Absolutely. Don't @ him.] In fact, they didn't even mention you at all.

But we had such a lovely evening, I'm sure it was just a matter of forgetfulness, and nothing remotely intentional.

[bouchonne]

Sabotaging my career and reputation. The bastards.

[ He clucks his tongue in a sound of deep offense. That is, of course, totally faked. But sometimes you love the drama.

He tosses one handkerchief so it lands on Astarion's head. Inevitably: it's perfumed. ]

Well, let it be known that I am the greatest talent in all of Kirkwall.

[illithidnapped]

[Astarion's silent when he pills the kerchief from his hair, curls tangled briefly in his own fingertips— quickly brushed back into place. Once done, he folds it neatly into his lap.]

Play for me, then.

[bouchonne]

I thought you'd never ask.

[ Is there anything more insufferable when a cocky asshole actually has the skills to back it up? That's the hell that Astarion is confronted with here: By pops up, dramatic mood disposed of, grinning wide, and grabs at a violin in a case not far from his desk. Bow to strings, and he begins to play a sprightly reel, and he's fantastic. Truly talented. ]

[illithidnapped]

[A cocky asshole without the skills to back it up, Astarion would argue. This, at least, is unexpectedly entertaining.

And it’s one of Astarion’s lesser known weaknesses, in fact. Good music. There was never anything so pleasant in Cazador’s care.

Here, now, he’s content to bask.]

Well.

Now I’m offended they didn’t invite you.

I’ve been deprived.

[bouchonne]

Too right you have.

[ By's smugness just grows with the assessment. He smirks at Astarion - fully smirks - and without missing a beat, switches over to a doleful, sorrowful melody on the violin. ]

So now I'm your favorite, right?

[illithidnapped]

Darling, you were always my favorite.

[Says local lying liar, news at 11.]

[bouchonne]

Is that so? And how many favorites do you have, in total?

[illithidnapped]

[Casually, already checking his own nails.]

...I've lost count.

[bouchonne]

Ugh.

[ He flops his head back in mock-agony. ]

You could have restored my soul.

[illithidnapped]

Now why in the Realms would I want to do a thing like that?

If you felt better about yourself, you wouldn't want to waste your time sitting around with me.

[And that, Byerly, would be a tragedy.]

[bouchonne]

[ A snort. ]

He says, like he doesn't know how beautiful and charming he is.

[illithidnapped]

And insufferable. You’re forgetting that part.

[bouchonne]

Oh, am I? Define "insufferable" for me.

[illithidnapped]

Tall, talkative, possessed of a uniquely striking brow line and perfectly managed features, excellent taste in wine—

[bouchonne]

You're describing me!