illithidnapped | INBOX II

wait really

No. Of course not.

Never.

[:)]

[There is a pause of, like, four minutes at most.]

[It's a very, very long four minutes. Maybe five, if you count time spent scrolling (somewhat in horror, somewhat in deeply flattered embarrassment) through the comments.]

why do you and your friends feel the need to broadcast every single aspect of your life

especially when they are aware we are dating

there is no one else this could be about

IS THAT WHY PETRAS CALLED ME ASSASSIN'S CREED LAST MONTH

[If Fenris is on the Ancunín estate, he'll be privvy to the loudest, longest little cackle coming from somewhere that he isn't. Otherwise, well, he might just be imagining it.]

wiat he called uou WHAT

lmaooooooooo

he thought it was very funny

so did violet

now i know why

(arent you at a virtual hearing right now??)

I was supposed to be.

But no, I took the day off. Didn't want to bother after last night's party, all the wine. Ugh. Too much wine.

Anyway the only person that has my virtual attention now is you.

[You're welcome.]

And on that note, if I were you I wouldn't bother thinking overmuch about all those blog posts and followers and avid fans and lifelong photograph collectors and countless, countless aficionados.

[He's only teasing. Honest, this time.]

Oh? You have a hangover? And here I thought you were insistent you never, ever got them— not someone so experienced in drinking as you.

If all this results in one of us getting stalked, I will never cease telling you that I told you so. Does it not worry you that there someone in your comments that constantly requests you show feet?

[Like, it doesn't particularly worry Fenris either, but it's funny enough to comment upon.]

And they'll be asking forever if they expect that for free in this economy.

Besides, why would I be worried? I'm the one dating John Wick.

....Unless showfeet99 is actually the real John Wick. Then you might be in trouble.

please. You doubt my ability to defend you even from him? As if I cannot kill anyone you throw me against, fictional or not

Edited 2026-03-17 05:37 (UTC)

is there a price you’d accept to actually show your feet??

Edited 2026-03-17 05:38 (UTC)

[BEAMING FENMOJI at part 1 up there, but also:]

Dunno. Money's not really a problem or motivator for me, but it's all about the principle of the thing, you know?

Luxury should never come cheap.

Now, if you were the one asking, on the other hand....

Or would that be the other foot?

Hah hah hah

[No, he’d actually chuckled. But wait, he knows this:]

Lmfao

[God he’s so good at this.]

is this you hinting you’d like to indulge another fetish or merely banter?

Edited 2026-03-17 05:53 (UTC)

[Gasp.]

you typed lmfao

you actually typed lmfao

are you

type 1 if you've been kidnapped and need rescuing. I'm not telling a kidnapper my kinks without proof of life to go along with it.

how would you even begin to rescue me? You cannot even get past the first level in Elden Ring

Anyway you’ve told thousands of strangers on maginet about your desire to be fucked by a man in a suit or call someone Daddy, what’s one more?

[Yes, he saw that post.]

Edited 2026-03-17 06:05 (UTC)

[Ah. Not kidnapped.]

Well that settles that. It's you, alright.

And since it is you, I can at least admit that if I can't tell the whole world I'm only interested in having a magitek-branded elven bodyguard that complains Im doing it wrong when I've only just started fighting the godsdamned boss be the one wearing said suit and letting me call him Daddy even when he's falling asleep in the club at only three am, I can at least settle for bragging about the unnamed mien of him.

And that maybe, for him, I'd try getting him off with just my heel.

Sounds downright fun if we're thinking you sprawled across the floor while I stand over you.

[Oh, there's so much he wants to say to that— so much so that he keeps typing and restarting, making for a maddening pattern of "..." followed by nothing for such a time.]

Flatterer.

[And that means so many things, all of them so warm and adoring and depthlessly deep that he hasn't found the wherewithal to put them into words, much less over text. I love you, maybe, is the summation of that, except they don't ever use such words between them.

Certainly not in reply to a text about filth, Fenris thinks with a silent scoff at his own foolishness.]

I do not think anything you have ever said has made me want to use social media more than that. Though I suppose my "liking" your every post might give away the game.

[I love you, he thinks again, and resists the urge to abandon his work in favor of finding Astarion and kissing him breathless.]

But for you, my little love who is allergic to both sensible tactics and bedtimes, I'd sprawl myself out wearing anything you'd like. Hands tied behind my back, since we both know that's the only way you might render me helpless.

Please don't use the word like or liking in quotation marks. it makes you sound like an aging treant.

And I'm only allergic to stupid things, so remember that next time I start sneezing around Petras.

[Like nettles and hot water into tea, boil down his prickliest remarks and all that's left behind is the true essence of that bite: nothing but drowsy sweetness underneath— I love you said a thousand times in a thousand different ways. As filthy as the last refrain and teething like a kitten. I love you, whispers 'how are you', and 'hello', and 'shut up' and 'harder', and 'I wasn't born yesterday, I know a gun isn't a toy, Fenris.'

They're ridiculous like that.]

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that's it, that's the first time internet speak has been triggered in ye future Torilthedas

JSDLKJ AMAZING

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