INBOX II

[illithidnapped]

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[illithidnapped]

[]

[doggish]

[Never mind he hates everything he’s going to kill himself right now rather than deal with the agony of embarrassment this has already wrought.]

just do it

i know you are grinning

and fighting not to

and already planning on how you’re going to sneak a picture— which you will not

get it over with

with all the excitement of 'YOURE DRIZZT DO'URDEN'

[illithidnapped]

[(the first ooc note I've had to make since Fade Rift: Leto I'm so sorry.)]

[He just— darling he just needs a minute. He just needs a minute to process this precious sliver of wonderment and joy whilst it lasts in this cold, cruel, heartless godsdamned world. This is the best thing that has ever happened to him. This is the best day of his unlife. Possibly even his life before that, he doesn't know, it's a lot to process right now.]







HOW CUTE ARE THEY

[doggish]

[ooc note: NO YOU AREN'T (and neither am I)]

they are

[The longest pause, and then, with all the grim determination of a man about to cross the Rubicon:]

the same color as my hair.n> [Not black, not like his doggish form, but rather uniquely designed for him as he is.] taller. Taller than my canine form. They stick up in points about half a foot above my head when they are alerted. You will find them very cute, I think.

If I tell you of the tail, will you be able to handle it?

[Don't mind him, he's just grumbling.]

[illithidnapped]

[I -will- find them very cute is the first thing he thinks and— to his credit— almost-but-never pens down across that parchment.]

sweetheart I haven't been able to handle a damned thing about this conversation at all thus far GO ON ㅤꨄ︎ㅤㅤㅤ

1/2

[doggish]

[Er—]

Well— I have one.

[It's wagging faintly right now, in fact, or at least trying to. Being forcibly shoved down one pantleg rather tempers things.]

the same color as my hair. once again, it isn't like the one I have in my other form, but closer to your wolfish one, I think. Above the base of my spine.

[And of course, promises either mean very little or very much to them (depending on circumstance), but still:]

promise me you will tell no one of this

[He's going to have to get over his fluster sooner or later when it comes to Astarion, but he might actually kill himself if he has to endure Karlach's cooing. Or at least someone will die, but death will most certainly be happening in the general vicinity.]

[doggish]

astarion does anyone else know already

[illithidnapped]

What

no





no

[illithidnapped]

not yet anyway

[doggish]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT YET

1/2

[illithidnapped]

[Wizard arm flailing:]

I don't know! I don't fucking know!


you know how they are, like gods damned bloodhounds! I mean I am doing my level best here to face the wall but let's be honest eventually they're going to find that suspicious too, which is just

the point is I'll have you know it is a LOT of good behavior on my part thank you very much, and I think I deserve some praise

2/2

[illithidnapped]

Or maybe just a turn spent petting that tail of yours. Either or.

[doggish]

[W h e e z e . . . it isn't a shock, not really, for he trusts Astarion to keep him from mockery, but still. It's a relief to hear it confirmed.]

you could pick a better prize. we both know you shall pet both ears and tail until they disappear— which they are meant to within a day or so.

[Which is an attempt at both acknowledgement of those mighty efforts (he does appreciate it beneath all his grumbling fluster) and a quiet sorry and thank you all wrapped up into one.]

2/3

[doggish]

still: praise I can do. Especially if i find you in our coffin when i return home, ready to

3/3

[doggish]

[Hang on.]

are you just


standing and facing the corner . . . ?

[He's just wondering.]

[illithidnapped]

N O

[illithidnapped]

maybe.

[illithidnapped]

[Hang on.]

how is it that you know exactly how long this will last?

[doggish]

talindra gave me a stone of far speech before i left

i consulted her this morning when it happened

she said it was not uncommon in [boys your age who don't practice their recoil spells] newer sorcerers.

1/2

[illithidnapped]

[Somehow, even on paper, that pause is palpable.]

How new is new? You've been practicing for a year.



I don't want you casting nonsense on me and I wind up with four eyes.

Or a smaller cock.

2/2

[illithidnapped]

hold on you mean to tell me she actually answers when you call her?

[doggish]

it won’t give you a smaller cock, and I would not cast on you if I thought it would.

how often do you call her? And to talk about what, exactly?

[illithidnapped]

[Oh now that's a thought. Maybe Leto calls less often.]

Oh twice a month or so? Sometimes more if it's important.

You know, normal things. She's an elf, so surely she knows about animals and their urges and peculiarities. Then there's your magic, whether or not blood loss affects your spellcasting, whether or not sex affects your spellcasting, if clearing out an entire icebox is normal adolescent behavior, how often do

[He's just going to keep going if he's not stopped any time soon.]

1/2 forreal this time

[doggish]

[doggish]

[There is a pause. It's a familiar pause, if only because it's the same five seconds Leto takes anytime he has to quell his teenage temper.]

i have witnessed you drain five corpses in a row and still not be sated. these muscles do not happen on their own. be grateful it's not more than one icebox per week, for I assuredly could. especially in this body.

[MORE IMPORTANTLY:]

she's my

why would sex affect my spellcasting

does it????

why would you ask her of all people

[On the other hand, who else would he ask? Gale?]